Don't Hate Me

Whenever I tell someone about a decision I have made regarding the way that I will rear my child, I feel like I need to add "don't hate me!" to the end of the statement just in case they want to kill me because they think I'm ruining a heretofore unsullied individual:

I sometimes forget to take my multivitamin (don't hate me!).
I don't worry about using special laundry detergent (don't hate me!).
I'm still nursing every four hours (don't hate me!).
Almost all of my baby's clothes are hand-me-downs (don't hate me!).
I'm a stay-at-home mom (don't hate me!).
My baby plays with his rattle in church (don't hate me!)
I think I'm going to start letting my baby cry himself to sleep through the night (don't hate me!).

I think I've always been a little sensitive about other people's opinions and expectations of me, but I've never been in a situation where people had such strong opinions or expectations. I've also never been in a situation where I've wanted to desperately to do a good job or been so unsure that I was doing anything right. I am smart, funny, and good-looking, but if someone looks at me the wrong way because there's a poo stain on my baby blanket, I feel like the world's biggest loser and the world's worst mom. It stinks.

Luckily, as my baby grows smarter, funnier, and better-looking, I grow more confident that I'm ok. And, let me tell you, he's getting there.

Daytime TV

One of my biggest fears about taking up the stay-at-home mom thing was that I would become addicted to daytime television. I think I have the type of personality that is prone to addiction (maybe more later on my Spider Solitaire addiction), and I had heard that daytime TV was pretty addictive. I have to say, there was a summer when I was only working a few days a week, and I definitely developed a thing for morning shows while I made my eggs.

I'm proud to say that I am not addicted to daytime TV and I don't think I ever will be if it remains at it's currently quality. In fact, I think it's totally lame. I had to go through a 3-month phase of experimenting with it before I reached this point, but now I can honestly say that I'd prefer to do pretty much any real-life activity to watching even the most interesting daytime TV. Sometimes, however, there really is nothing to do but watch TV because I have a baby who loves to nurse, and who can't keep from grabbing anything else attached to Mom (telephone, laptop, book, mp3 player, etc). Here are the daytime TV shows that I don't mind watching in those circumstances.

Daytime talk: "Rachel Ray"--too many commercials on the others
Reruns: "Gilmore Girls," "Scrubs," and "Friends"--for some reason most others make me feel like I'm getting dumber
TLC: Rarely, rarely, I sometimes tune in to "Baby Story" or "What Not to Wear"
Game shows: "Jeopardy"--It's the only one fast-paced enough for my taste
Cooking Shows: "30-Minute Meals," "Quick-Fix Meals," and "Everyday Italian"--I find watching cooking shows is a great alternative to eating if you're trying not to eat, and these are the only shows where I can remember the recipes and afford the ingredients without having to write anything down.
Soap Operas: Haven't really given any a fair chance because I feel a little ill just watching a couple of minutes. I'm open to suggestions if anyone knows of an intelligent, engaging soap opera.
Kids shows: I don't plan to watch these for a long time, as long as I have a choice in the matter, but I saw "Between the Lions" at the doctor's office once and it was good.
CSPAN: I have yet to get interested in anything on CSPAN, which is too bad because I'd really like to be the type of person who watches CSPAN, and I went to law school and such, so I sort of feel like I should be watching it. Oh well. Their fault for not making it more interesting. TV news doesn't really do it for me either. I get it faster and commercial-free online, and I don't have to listen to anything remotely related to sports.

Just a token, merely a trifle

I wonder how many blog entries begin with the sentence, "I know it's been a long time since I've posted anything, but . . ." Back in my journal writing days I started a lot of journal entries that way. A waste of time when you're going to write the date anyway, but I felt like I had to explain myself. I don't have to explain myself here, so I won't. Besides, I'm not exactly sure why I decided to take 5 months off. But I did. Hmph.

I'm trying to decide what to make for my birthday cake. My birthday party is tonight at my parents; house, and I told my mom that I'd bring the cake. I was in the mood to bake when I offered because I had just been reading "How to Be a Domestic Goddess" by Nigella Lawson (of "Nigella Feasts" fame). Then, this afternoon, I read it again, and it was a lot more satisfying to read about baking than to actually stoke up the coals and start anything. Besides, the recipe I wanted called for lemon zest, which I don't have right now. The other recipe I wanted to make called for marzipan cheese, which I never have. I think I'll just bring a box of cake mix and make it when I get there. I'm kind of in the mood for cake and whipped cream (non-dairy) and strawberries all mushed up together in a trifle. That's probably what I'll do.

I love having a March birthday. Springtime happens to be beautiful around here, and my birthday always has pretty fabulous weather. This year I had a rainbow on my birthday. That pretty much means that God loves me.