New York City brings out a psychological phenomenon in otherwise mellow mothers. We call it stroller rage.
I've never had road rage. In fact, I don't understand road rage. People who suffer from road rage confuse me. When I drove, if I yelled and screamed while driving, it was because I accidentally turned onto a one-way road or something. I cause road rage, I don't suffer from road rage.
When I'm pushing Baby around the city, there are some areas of the city that I have learned to avoid. Times Square is one of them. When I'm walking Baby in Times Square, I turn into a mean, mean person who does mean, mean things. Let's say you're a young bachelor who is desperately in love with his lovely girlfriend. You decide to take her to take her on a super-date to New York City. While wandering around Times Square you realize that Times Square would be the perfect place to present your girlfriend with the engagement ring that you've been carrying around in your pocket for weeks. You stop. You take a long look into Girlfriend's eyes. You clutch both of her hands. You step away, and drop to one knee.
Suddenly your clutch on Girlfriend's hands is wrenched apart by a swinging diaper bag. Before you know it, a mom and baby come between the two of you. Your moment, the moment you had hoped to relate to your grandchildren, is ruined forever. As you stare at this heartless woman, disappearing through the crowded, you hear her yelling over her shoulder, "This is New York City, buddy. Six million of us actually use the sidewalks to MOVE."
That woman is me.
5 comments:
Wow. A small part of me is hoping that you didn't really do that, but the rest of me is secretly hoping that you did.
No part of me hopes that you didn't do it.
ha-ha-ha-ha-ha:) You are a true New Yorker now. I love it! You did do it, right?
That is great! I can't really see you doing that however, deep down inside me I would love to think you totally did! What a great story to tell over and over again.
I'm afraid what actually happened wasn't quite so dramatic. I didn't realize that the guy might have been proposing until I'd already passed by, and I didn't say that stuff out loud.
But I did say it, or something like it, in my head. And my head is starting to speak with a New York accent.
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